Clipper
CPW Dictator
Anson's Right Hand
Osfcs25: I see the talent diamond shining through your emo dirt.
Posts: 7,392
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Post by Clipper on Jun 9, 2018 3:21:20 GMT -5
Thoughts/feedback/criticism?
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Post by Tyler Shane on Jun 9, 2018 13:14:07 GMT -5
I was pretty impressed man. Reading through it, it set up where Andrew is in life, and gave a nice little snapshot into his personal life. I thought Andrew's thoughts/perspective all seemed realistic and true to character.
It did veer a bit into cliche territory a couple of times ("Didn't you promise that kid of yours you'd go and play basketball?") and those few spots felt sorta unbelievable/not something a real character would say... but the rest of it was so strong that it easily covered up those moments.
Well done.
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Joe Summers
CPW Dictator
Honey Bunches of Totes
Posts: 6,079
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Post by Joe Summers on Jun 9, 2018 14:24:53 GMT -5
Not enough Colgate love/10.
But it was well-written, which is about all you can ask for when you're trying to rediscover the character's voice and situate him in the landscape of current CPW. Once you get a chance to sink your teeth into stuff, you'll be fine, I think.
Coming back is always the hardest thing to do when you're not doing it with an angle.
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