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Post by Desolation on Jun 16, 2016 9:39:39 GMT -5
Hi everyone,
It has been awhile since I've tried to write a new character and I'm curious to think what people think. I feel a little rusty and would love any pointers you guys have.
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Joe Summers
CPW Dictator
Honey Bunches of Totes
Posts: 6,079
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Post by Joe Summers on Jun 16, 2016 21:45:13 GMT -5
While this doesn't have much to do with the writing itself, I'd say that it would benefit you to keep some sort of consistency in the formatting. It's not something you'll ever get judged down for, but keeping the text either centered or aligned to the left rather than having the dialogue centered and the description/narrative to the left.
I've got no problems with this as a debut RP. The writing itself was solid and did what it was supposed to do. You gave us an introduction to the character and what he's about, but didn't necessarily give away so much that I can tell you where you're going next. That's about all I can really ask for in a debut. I would've liked to have seen how you'd have handled the wrestling aspect of the character, though I'm guessing based on what we saw here that that's one of those things you'll get stronger at as you come to know the characters better.
Still, overall, I think you did what you needed to do with this. It wasn't anything special but you gave a taste of what the character's about, you established a definite tone, and you at least have me curious to see where you're gonna go next. That all works for me.
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Post by Rigormortis X on Jun 26, 2016 21:15:33 GMT -5
I agree with Joe on the fact of keeping the text aligned, makes it look a little bit better. I felt the context of the RP was okay for a debut. You didn't the normal mistake that people get into and even I myself have done it, where they real off their entire history. You have gave us a little bit of an in sight of the Character but at the same time you have made me curious of what is going to happen next. It will be very interesting to see where you go next with this RP.
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Post by "The Icon" Chris Brock on Jun 27, 2016 16:40:19 GMT -5
You established enough of your character to make me want to learn more about him and what his justifications are. I dig your style of story telling, but I will agree with everyone else that the formatting was wonky. Other than that I'd say it's a solid first RP.
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