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Post by percystange on Jun 28, 2016 2:23:52 GMT -5
How am I doing with this new character? If you knew anything about my previous character Doc Holiday, you'd know this is a complete different kind of character than I'm used to. So feedback things, have at it
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Post by "The Icon" Chris Brock on Jun 28, 2016 10:59:55 GMT -5
So I will say that I can tell this is a new character based solely on the 2 RPs you've put up. He seems... not complete. Almost like your still feeling out what kind of heel he's going to be.
I do like the Canadian angle though, and that you completely hate the "traditional" Canadian wrestler gimmick. Its a good change of pace.
One thing that I've never quite liked though is name dropping real wrestlers. its just a personal thing to me. I've always kind of felt like E-Feds exist in a World where the WWE/TNA/ROH etc.. don't exist. if the WWE never came to be, then we are left with tons of regional or national promotions filling the void, hence the E-Fed an thrive.
Other than that I'm looking forward to reading more. Also, I dig the way you title your RPs. It catches the eye. Good work!
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Post by Rigormortis X on Jun 28, 2016 16:59:11 GMT -5
I like the way you are building up the character, you seem to have thought a lot about the direction you want to take him, he seems a little cocky and full of himself which i also liked. I got a bit lost in the conversation with his mum, as my mind started to wonder else where, but you brought me right back to it after that.
The writing was very good, and well written, it was well presented and all in all I look forward to seeing more from you in the future.
I didn't really read your stuff as Doc, but i have been told you were very good.
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Post by percystange on Jun 28, 2016 18:29:14 GMT -5
I want to get him a manager or valet...not necessarily someone that follows him to ring, just to have to someone to talk to, but it has to work with his character. Like with Doc, I had a goofy character that managed him and it worked with Doc being serious, but with Percy it's different. Trying to find that perfect ying to his yang. Then I can have more to play off of.
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Post by "The Icon" Chris Brock on Jun 28, 2016 19:59:27 GMT -5
You need a character to play the straight man. You're character comes off as cocky and arrogant, so you need the opposite of that to balance it out.
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Post by Rigormortis X on Jun 28, 2016 20:00:52 GMT -5
Yeah, I see what your saying with that, that will be a case of trail and error until you find what works, but your a good writer so i know it is only going to be a matter of time before you, find what you are looking for.
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Kise
CPW Superstar
Senpai
Posts: 392
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Post by Kise on Jun 29, 2016 3:01:42 GMT -5
Waddup tho! Good to see u B.
I like the two rps you've put out as Percy. Not sure what kind of heel you want so I'll tell you so far he comes off like a redeemable/likeable heel so far, even with his attitude I don't hate him. I laughed during the scene with mama.
The promo part had good remarks but so far I agree with you - it looks like Percy is best when he has another person to trade with. I think I see what you mean by needing a manager. When Percy interacts with the waiter, interviewer and his mother, I get to really enjoy the character. When he's solo, it's good but not as charming.
You may not need a guest character tho. Idk. Maybe it's because Percy's arrogance is suh a highlight that this type of character works best when you have other characters who react to him.
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Post by percystange on Jun 30, 2016 2:21:49 GMT -5
What it is Riko Suave? Good to see you in the e-fed world again my man!
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