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Post by FJL316 on Jun 15, 2019 19:25:01 GMT -5
Been a while since I’ve asked for feedback, but with the three RPs I’ve put up for Wrestlepalooza, I would love to get some feedback from you guys.
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Post by "Big" Billy Bush on Jun 24, 2019 8:05:57 GMT -5
So I read through them all and I have to say they were good, a lot better than the stuff you normally put out. Francisco Lopez is a very down to earth character and as such works best when you make him relatable to the audience. You did a great job in this regard. Struggling to achieve something, coming close only to fail, it's something we can all relate to and you did a good job of making us want to see you succeed. By the time the round was done I wanted to see Francisco Lopez have his Rudy moment and finally become the world champion. This is definitely a path you should continue going down. Going forward I suggest you actually play up the struggle a little bit. Has he ever considered quitting? Using PEDs (performance enhancing drugs)? Cheating? You mentioned him making sacrifices, maybe show us some of those or give us some more insight into his upbringing. You're on the right track, and you have the success to show for it now (2x Devastation Champ) but there's a lot you can do to flesh him out going forward and a lot of interesting things you can do to really keep us hooked on his journey.
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Joe Summers
CPW Dictator
Honey Bunches of Totes
Posts: 6,079
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Post by Joe Summers on Jun 24, 2019 21:39:03 GMT -5
Slay The "Monster" and Holy Grail are probably you at your best. You did a really good job this week of showing Francisco Lopez's passion. You've said in past RPs that becoming the Xtreme Chaos Champion is something that he cares about, and this is one of the first weeks where I can honestly say that I genuinely believed that. When you've had the character alternate between the Demon and Demonslayer, you sometimes got away from that passion in an effort to balance the two personalities. The approach that you took this week was much more solid.
I know you've said in the past that you tend to just sit down and write without doing much outlining or planning on what you're going to RP about. I do think there's a real benefit to actually planning where you want Lopez to go next, though. I think I've said this before, and Lee said it as well, but...you have us invested in Lopez's struggle. We feel for the character, we want to see him succeed, you're on the verge of making him THE babyface. Now what? How does he take that next step? How much does that next step mean to him? Sure, there's the image he's going to convey in promos...but is there any doubt underneath that? Any hesitation? You tend to be a very to-the-point writer, and it ultimately suits you well (as it did this week). But there's theoretically A LOT going on beneath the surface right now, and if you can find ways to give us a glimpse of that as it relates to Francisco Lopez's journey...it might just be what gives you that edge.
Remember that sometimes, it's the break from the norm that hits the hardest. Sockman spent an entire week being...less than serious to great effect. It was enjoyable, we laughed, he did great work. And then he went and put up "You're Not Special" and actually hit Disturbed REALLY hard, and it was even better than it might've been on its own because it was such a change of pace from what he'd done the rest of the week. Not saying that you need to try your hand at comedy to make the serious stuff stand out more, but it's something to keep in mind.
You've got Francisco Lopez exactly where he needs to be.
What can you do to both give us a sneak peek at some of the depth that's bubbling underneath the surface, and what can you do to keep us on our toes?
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